Top 5 Badass Poets of All Time

Too often do the words effeminate, touchy-feely, emo, fruity, and just flat out lame get associated with poetry. Well while it may be true that writing about your feelings and about the nature of a spring day can make you seem  perhaps even a bit girly, it is far from fair to call poets in general a rather immasculine group of people, especially when some of the world’s greatest poets were tougher than most of us will ever be. So here is a list of poets that could clear a room when they arrived at parties, slept with wives, sisters, and daughters, knew how to throw a punch, drank more than a college fraternity president, and had a tender spot in their hearts for  dueling.

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Vanessa’s Dumplings

There are moments in life when how hungry you are surpasses how much money you have, or how willing you are to look for food that won’t leave your head hovering over toilet or fill you with an almost immediate sense of regret so tremendous that you begin to think it may have actually been better to stay hungry. For moments like these, it’s good to know about places that are both cheap, but incidentally, fantastic. For moments like these, there is Vanessa’s Dumplings on Eldridge street right off the Bowery. With 4 dumplings for a dollar, you can afford to try vegetable, steamed, pork and chive, pork and some other mystery vegetable, and be both impressed by the quality of the food and their soy/hot sauce mix, and by how much cash you have left over in your wallet afterwards. Too many times have I gone into the shop, ordered 4 steamed dumplings, 4 fried dumplings, a pancake, a red-bean paste bun, and a steamed vegetable bun, and been asked to hand over a ridiculously modest sum of $4.75. Vanessa’s succeeds where most other Chinese-fast-food places fail; others leave you with an overwhelming sense of unnerve and curiosity because it is never entirely clear where the food is made or coming from, while Vanessa’s prepares the food right before you so that even if their procedures and cooking techniques  are actually unsafe and medically repulsive, you somehow feel otherwise. There are few things as satisfying as the hot-sauce filled, vegetable-sesame pancake, of their fried pork buns. So if you’re ever downtown, starving, and happen to have only two or three dollars and ten minutes to wait on line, Vanessa will give you a warm meal, and your stomach a proverbial hug. And no need to hang tight, you stomach is not in  for a bumpy ride.

Vanessa’s Dumpling House, 118 Eldridge St. between Grand St. and Broome St.

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Before you read anything, before you pass any judgments, before you have any ideas at all, let us remind you that Rez-de-Chaussée or RdC, isn’t a blog or a tumblr, or even really a magazine. It’s a way of life.

We give you not only the tools for the most efficient and enjoyable life without breaking your bank, but we give you the means to learn and discern for yourself what is good, or what is bad, and what is worth investing in, and what is not. We may overlap with other blogs or magazines–our goal is not to be contrarian. But when we disagree with the rest of the world, you should probably trust we’ve got it right. Trust us. In 20 years, you do not want to be sitting on the steps of the Bowery Mission at 3 am drinking a tallboy of Pabst Blue Ribbon or a 40 of Steel Reserve out of a brown paper bag, crawling and crying in the rain, shouting Why The Hell didn’t I read RdC?

Or would you rather be sitting in an apartment, full of objects, products, and ideas that you love, and that enrich you, far away and safe from the things drag you behind and slow you down, and cloud your judgment. We help pick out the best that life has to offer and help rake out the bullshit that gets in the way.

Let us be your compass. Let us tell you about Schlitz, so that you never have to drink Coors again. Let us tell you about Radiguet and Pushkin so that you don’t have to read Capote or McCourt. Let us tell you about Santa Margherita so that you don’t waste another summer in the tourist-infested Nice. Let us tell you about Corneliani so that you do not spend another cent on Chrisitan Dior. Let us tell you about Silver Moon Bakery so that you never have to eat another Hot and Crusty croissant for the rest of your lives.

Trust us, take our hand, and we shall stand you in good stead, and we will give you the very best of everything. This much, dear reader, is a motherfuckin’ promise.

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